my vag is so smooth its legendary
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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