Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
