the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Less talking, more tequila
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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