That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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