Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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