I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
