I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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