I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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