i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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