He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
