Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize