hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
