they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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