I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
