i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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