im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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