Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
