my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
