I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I understand Curling. That high.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
