I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
