Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
