so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i came on her dog
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
