Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
