smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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