what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We just shotgunned beers for America
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
