better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
