What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
