erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im six kinds of drunk right now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
