That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
