Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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