..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
