It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
