So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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