This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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