I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize