i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
