I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
