It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
