Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
