You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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