Sponge bath it is.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
