I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
