Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
