it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
