all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I touched a dick in church today
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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