I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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