Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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