Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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