Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
