Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
