Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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