Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
