just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize