is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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