careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
