If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
