This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am available for nakedness
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
