Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
