We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Couch. On fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
