"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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