She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
