he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
