First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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