Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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